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The Listening Lounge

Disappointed in myself

Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed

I feel awful! So disapointed in myself- I wanted to do a join up with a horse who used to be a lesson horse at our barn. He has become very spookey and he hasn't been used in lessons for months. He is a 10 year old qurter horse gelding. I brought him into the round pen and I could hear his breath rate increase his head was high I knew he was very scared, and unfortunately so was I. When I sent him away I am sure I used to much energy he bolted like he was shot from a cannon only a few steps then he would stop and snniff the ground, I sent him away, he would bolt few steps and stop to sniff the ground. As I write this I am beginning to see how he dictated the whole conversation - he was running through the center of the ring -just taking my space and I was so frightened I ran out of the ring. I am so embarrassed I had to tell someone. So, I am telling everyone.
I waant to work with this horse again but I could use some support. My plan is to join-up with some more calmer horses and then come back to him.
Thank you for listening
richandi

Gen (Queensland, Australia)
Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed 200 lessons completed

Hi Richandi
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Don't be so hard on yourself :-) its all good :-)
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It really does take some practice to get your body language and confidence in what you are doing worked out. I think that every student Monty Roberts has ever had has had an experience like yours at one time or another. I know I have.
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Joining up with calmer horses helped me a LOT. Now I can achieve join up with all four of my horses. But in saying that, I am sure that if a professional was to watch me, they would definately find mistakes in what I am doing because I am still new to these concepts and am still trying to understand and master them.
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I also found that watching the Join Up videos on this website over and over again was very helpful. And I also got my husband to watch them with me so he could then watch me in the round yard and tell me what I should and should not be doing.
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Also if you haven't already, grab yourself a copy of Monty's From My Hands to Yours book. I got mine about a month ago and I just LOVE it. I read it over and over again.
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Also, not sure where you live, but there could be a qualified Instructor near by where you could do a Join Up course. I am doing an Intro Course in September this year and I can't wait!
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My Quarter Horse mare was like your fellow when I got her. Very scared and flighty. I couldn't work out what she was doing with the bolting and ground sniffing. Still not entirely sure either... But we had what I called at the time a questionable join-up where she faced me but would not follow. I left her for a couple of months until I got better at it with some other horses and came back to her and it was all good. We used to have terrible trouble catching her before the questionable join-up but to my surprise she improved considerably after that and now most times walks towards me when she sees me. She doesn't run away from us any more.
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It would be really great if someone could provide some insight into the bolt and ground sniff behaviour. This really had me baffled, but am glad someone else has had that too.
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Also, if you were scared, you did the right thing to remove yourself from the situation before one of you got hurt.
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Good luck :-)
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Kind regards,
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Gen

Horse addict (From the good old USA)
Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed 200 lessons completed 250 lessons completed 300 lessons completed

Hi richandi, don't feel bad, I get nervous around spooky horses sometimes too. The best thing is to keep your adrenaline down so that the situation does not escalate into a dangerous situation. The horse can see that your calm, then he will be calm.

Horse addict (From the good old USA)
Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed 200 lessons completed 250 lessons completed 300 lessons completed

richandi, see lesson 2 of Join Up.

richandi
Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed

Thank you so much for the positive feed back- I have Monty's book and have been watching the Join-up lessond over and over again. I will work with calmer horse before I go back in round pen with Uno. I can say that with time to mull over the interaction with the horse there are many things outside of myself I would do, such as ckean out the round pen of debris. It is used for turn-out sometimes so there are piles of uneatin hay-alsom soem manure, things that a horse woudl be interested in. So I'll be sure to check my environment more carefully for distratctions.
Unfortuately no "Monty" people in my area (United States, Northeast) we have a lot of John Lyons and Perellie people.

I really appreciate you taking the time to encourage me.
Thanks again, I am touched.
richandi

vicci - UK (North Wales)
Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed 200 lessons completed 250 lessons completed 300 lessons completed 350 lessons completed

Hi richandi

I truly understand your story, but please never be ashamed of your fear; the fact that you are aware of it and able to share it takes immense courage and you are brave to tell us your story, we've all got one and we'd all be a lot better off if we shared our fears, that way we can begin to deal with them. When I went on the course to learn how to deal with difficult loaders and the horse came towards me in the trailer and shot out again I was shaking so much I thought I was going to faint or be sick!!! Keep practising, and don't let anyone push you to go further than you are ready to go.

Good luck.

Horse addict (From the good old USA)
Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed 200 lessons completed 250 lessons completed 300 lessons completed

richandi, let us know the next time you work with Uno. I'm planning on taking the certification courses at Monty's center sometime. Don't know when though since the prices to take one course is over my budget. Maybe if I graduate, there will be a place in the Northeast where there's "Monty" people lol!

auntyem53
Hello! 100 lessons completed

Hi
Yes, I also wish there was a someone in the Northeast who was a Monty person. I think the closest I've found is Georgia!!!
Anne

Katie
Hello!

Richandi, don't be discouraged we've all been there and we all know how you feel! Horse Addict, viccihh1, and Gen couldn't have said it any better. I wish there were Monty people like them here in the Northeastern states! WE NEED MONTY PEOPLE!!

richandi
Hello! 100 lessons completed 150 lessons completed

Thanks again everyone I appreciate your attention, I feel supported. I do plan to work with Uno again. I have to make arrangements with his owner. I will work with calmer horses first and make sure that I am staying calm in Uno's presence.
Auntyem -I think you are right the closest person is in Georgia.
I will keep going, and with your support, I feel like am sourrounded by Monty People-Thank God!

Joy
Hello! 100 lessons completed

I'm also from the Northeast and wish there was a qualified instructor near by!!

Don't get discouraged richandi! Monty Roberts techniques are new to me and I make plenty of mistakes. But with every mistake I learn more. I love Montys quote- "A amateur practices until he can get it right. A professional practices until he can't get it wrong."

cyfy
Please upload your photo 100 lessons completed

Even Monty has stated in his lessons "I make mistakes everyday, but I learn from them." Just hearing that helped me.

One thing I would suggest is to bring the spooky horse into the round pen and don't do anything. just stand there and cock one leg, yawn very big, and blink. Appear as though you are about to go to sleep. This will bring yours and his energy way way down. You can then rub his withers, and tell him good boy and let that be it for the day. The next time you can doo the same or if he seems relaxed you can try join up but think sllloooowww and move slowly. let your instincts lead you through Monty's steps to join up.

I hope this is helpful.