So many participants in Monty Roberts' live demos, from the owners, through the audience, to Monty himself, are deeply affected by what they witness and experience.
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From Monty's account of his legendary demonstration for Queen Elizabeth II at Windsor Castle in 1989, even the British royal family are not immune.
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My most emotional moment occurred during a demo with a head-shy horse. Monty had made progress, and quietly said something like "You're a good boy. You're a very good boy." There was a small catch in his voice as he added the word "very". A huge lump rose in my throat too.
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But why? What affects us so much at that instant - and what emotional centers have been triggered?
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Emotional times: The moments of Join-Up
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No-one want to take a stab at this?
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Well, here are some of my thoughts on the matter; aspects of emotion, followed by an estimate of their likelihood of being involved.
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Joy - 60%
Trust - 25%
Philos (Brotherly love) - 6%
Surprise - 4%
Anticipation - 3%
Sadness - 2%
Agape (Spiritual love) - 0%
Eros (Physical love) - 0%
Fear - 0%
Anger - 0%
Disgust - 0%
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I think I'm very happy with what I'm seeing, with, and this is the crucial element in my view, a high degree of Empathy for the horse and/or handler.
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Agree? Disagree?
I think this is a really interesting question and I have given it a lot of thought. I feel that being with horses creates (even forces) a silence within us. Many (most even) humans are scared of silence because within silence lies truth, self awareness, realisation of something we don't want to hear/know etc etc. So to avoid the silence and the empty space we fill it with internal chatter, external 'busy-ness', work, acquisition of "stuff", the chasing of power, fame, glory, money...whatever. All this works to convince other humans we are happy/coping/powerful/in charge but it does not work with horses. They are not impressed. What they are impressed with is our silence and our stillness; the very thing we fear. This shared stillness can provoke a very powerful and emotional response - a response that has been desperate to come out within us but there has not been a safe vehicle to carry it.
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I met with a prison hospital not long ago and they had a person there who would not engage with humans and is considered dangerous. How did they engage him? Bought him some ducks to look after - they now have 5 fat happy ducks and one engaging prisoner. People who find it hard to engage with other people often fear the judgement of others, the advice, the pity, the disgust, the scorn, the kindness (yes, kindness can be frightening!); all those things that humans do to each other. Horses give us none of that - they accept us at the point where we accept ourselves and be still. This is what my horses do for me - nothing else has ever kept me centred as well as they can. Forgive my further self indulgence but I would like to share a short poem that someone gave me many years ago and I have kept with me; I have never found out who the author is.
Amid the Noise
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Hear the gentle voice of wisdom
mid the ranting ego sounds,
Feel the conscious touching echo.
in the stillness, Truth abounds
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Raucous is the sound of wanting
harsh the barriers which divide
Yet, while we make our protestations
truth lies with the quiet inside
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Therefore draw the self to centre,
be the stillness which you find
and the answer you were seeking
will come softly to the mind
Hmm, yes, it's pure emotion where we open ourselves up & we are met with the horse allowing him /herself to open up to let each other into our deepest parts which we usually keep hidden to protect ourselves from hurt from others.
I still need to learn to just sit - doing nothing with my girls & be still instead of using the time to catch up on reading.
Good thoughts!
I like the way Klaus F. Hempfling puts it. With horses we live in the now!
https://www.youtube.com/user/nature2promotion/videos
Hempfling is so very good. I have watched those video clips countless times. His descriptions are wonderfully poetic, as is Vicci's telling verse above, but do not really explain anything.
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The moments under discussion here bear quite a strong similarity to the 'I Do' during a marriage ceremony. Who hasn't filled up hearing those words? Many are the tales of guests fainting as they are uttered.
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I have a very strong suspicion that horses and (some) humans connect on levels unknown to science. Searching for a rational basis - many people 'feel it' when someone else, at a party or function, say, is looking their way.
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Is it so much of a reach to imagine that horses (prey) are aware, in a similar vein, when a human (predator) is watching them? If we accept that premise, then the same communication path should be able to carry benevolent 'feelings', for want of a better word, and in both directions.
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Nicely put Vicci; silence within. What better background against which to detect our true nature and benevolence.
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Just musings, though. Nothing here to base a scientific paper on.
science can't explain everything!
I agree, about the benevolent feelings being carried both ways.
An example of the horse / prey animal being aware that a human / predator is watching them is my beloved old boy Rocky when he had gone blind; passports were introduced in the UK & I was drawing his face markings, so looking directly into his face studying it, he got VERY uncomfortable & i had to reassure him it was me & he wasn't in any danger, Bless him.
He had been examined by veterinary eye consultant & there was no way he had any detailed sight left at all as practically all the blood vessels had gone with old age.
Bless him Beryl, lovely the trust he had in you!!!
Mal - Yes there is so much more connection with our horses when one becomes silent in mind and body. Equus the silent language where you can see the horses facial expressions and look deep into their eyes with understanding.
One of the things I do with all horses that I help with remedial issues, after join up and desensitising all over with my hands is to look deep into their eyes so they can see deep into mine. It's at that point I know they'll trust me never to hurt them. Some that have been harshly treated I can see a puzzled look in their expression that softens as they feel safe.
We can all offer that to our horses :D
They are naive and seemingly simple creatures. When we haltingly attempt to communicate with them using Equus, I'm sure they find our accent hilarious! But, like a tourist in a foreign land, they appreciate that we're making the effort.
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"Nature is incapable of any lie." In my dealings with all animals, I live by that ideal. Just as you say, Mel, by opening your heart, in quiet honesty, you invite inspection of your core. Horses seem to discern something, in those who are true to themselves.
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Beryl, your description of dear Rocky's issue trumps any poetry. There are times when I despair of humanity as horse-owners; this little anecdote heartens me more than words can express.
Mal, you've no idea how precious he became as he got more vulnerable! Here's another memory that brings tears to my eyes whenever i remember it.
He became scared to go into the field shelter as with only light & dark sight left, plus some movement, it would have been like going into a dark cave for him & he had banged his eyes on the doorway several times (i padded them out very well for him, so he wouldn't hurt himself when he did it. I got there one afternoon & offered him a carrot, but he wasn't interested in it; he wanted to show me something, he walked into the shelter, gently turned himself around so he was facing the door / light, then he gently found the door post & was feeling along the wall to the corner with his whiskers, when he got to the corner, he did a quarter turn, followed that wall, to the next corner, along the back wall, the next wall, next corner back to the door post on the other side!! If you could have seen the so happy look on his face you would have melted! I hugged him for ages telling him how proud of him i was, he so wanted to show me how he could do it.
I was so happy as that meant he would survive, I had been so worried that i would have had to put him down if he couldn't cope with going in the shelter in the winter, but he proved me wrong. His mane was Rocky & he was my "Rock" for sure!!!
If an experience like that doesn't teach you to listen to them, nothing will!
Ahem! I too had a dressage partner / soulmate who was with me for his entire 28 years of life. Deciding to have him PTS when he couldn't cope any more was both the easiest and most difficult decision of my life. {Bear with me for a moment... Okay, I'm back} Beryl, if we ever meet, we can embrace each other and have a mutual bawl!
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I never, repeat, never, trim my horse's chin whiskers. They are the third eye and I consider it mutilation to remove them. Bang on, girl. I've got to stop now; something's in my eye.
I like that Mal
"Horses seem to discern something, in those who are true to themselves."
I agree totally. Same with the whiskers,it's like taking a sense away from them.
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Beryl, please tell us more about your Rocky. I've re-read your shelter post a number of times, to squeeze every last drop of information out of it. Gets more emotional and touching every time I do.
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How often have you seen horses slowly put a muzzle across, to sniff another's nostril. There's a pause, then a little jerky pretend nip, often accompanied by a squeal from the recipient. It's a dance, with agreed steps. Never have I seen the sniffed one leap backwards or jump, so, for all the posturing, contact is not made. The whiskers allow precise targeting.
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Now put a human hand or face into the picture, and trim the whiskers. "He bit me!" and, of course, punishment follows. Another emotional moment for me, in complete sympathy with the poor, benighted animal. Aaargh!
Ah Mal, bless you.
My little 11 hh rescue pony Sally looked after Rock when his sight got worse (he'd looked after her when i first got her so it was a complete role reversal) I made her a fluorescent harness to wear & hung a goat bell off the neckstrap so he could find her by sound.
Sometimes, i'd get up there & she was so relieved, she'd had enough of him, it was like "oh you have have him, i've had him all day!!!" Hee Hee. Sometimes, he'd be yelling for her & she'd ignore him & stand perfectly still so he couldn't find her - he was rough with her in the flies, he'd rub his head & lift her off her back feet, so you can't blame her.
I remember this was going on one day, he was yelling cos he'd lost her, i was down the bottom of the field, so i called him & started giving him verbal cues; walk on, turny, no, turny good walk on if he was in the right direction & within a couple of minutes max, we'd worked together to get him right to her!! That was special!!!!
I used to lead them out for a walk together when i no longer rode him, he trusted me absolutely to keep him safe from falling so he walked my legs off as he loved to stretch his legs; HE USED HIS WHISKERS TO FEEL WHERE MY ARM WAS to guide him to walk straight, they were his white stick!
I have been ignorant in the past but i would NEVER CUT OFF WHISKERS AGAIN, EVER!
What we forget so easily is horses don't have hands to feel things as we do & the whiskers are highly sensitive instruments that transmit the world in their blind spot to the nerves in the skin - they can't see the bottom of their chin.
Conventional wisdom: Donkey's eat thistles. Well, my 17hh horse does also, very cleanly nipping the nectar-rich flowers off, guided by his whiskers. Dare I say it? He makes a bee-line for them.
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These wonderful posts have allowed me to explore my emotional reactions from different angles. I have felt Empathy, Sympathy, Hilarity (pony being sent skywards by a massive bum-rub) and a degree of Brotherly love. Nothing similar to the Demo rush, however.
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Seems to me that the moment of Join-Up is very special. I've watched examples live, videos, videos with just picture then again with just sound. Strong reaction, lessened, mild, nothing, in that order. The strong right-here-and-now response has got to be something to do with survival I'd guess. Of both participants.
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When the horse decides to come in and voluntarily make full contact with a predator, he's not just saying "I trust you", he's saying "I trust you with my life." There's a big difference.
yes, absolutely Mal, thats why it's so moving, they are trusting you with their life, it's a huge responsibility as we've made the promise to protect them before that point & the trust is given, we have to honour that promise to them that we are not going to hurt them.