From the very beginning of this UNI and its Forum I've been a member (my Profile says: about 9 years!) and I loved every minute of it!
I haven't been active lately and feel I owe at least an explanation.
Late August I lost my husband, partner for over 40 years, father of our three children (now grown-up women). What happened in the 5 years of his illness and of course in the process of his dying, took its toll on me.
Lately I realised that all insecure factors had made a flight animal of me, when only temporarely. At a certain point I could imagine how a haunted dear or a horse separated from the herd must feel. Nothing is as it used to be and around any corner might be the next predator.
This resulting in quicker heartrate, sleeplessness, etc, short: feeling vulnarable.
This is not me, it's part of my grief. I own my grief and I'm living through it with every breath, hoping to come out at some point stronger and wiser.
The learning never ends.