Help! My in-laws have (4) rescue horses/ponies. I have (1) filly. Their horses live on the a-joining property. Because my filly was barely three months old when I got her, I chose not to put the horses together. They visit through the fence. My in-laws horses are not handled. They are not trained. One kicked a small child in the face. They are fed treats by hand, have managed to open the doors on my in-law's house, and have roamed freely through the kitchen, eating whatever they can find. They think it's cute to have the horses stand on their patio, looking through the glass doors, waiting for a treat. My filly has a female goat companion and is handled almost every day. She is never fed by hand. She lost her mother very young. Everyone wants me to now put my filly in with the other horses/ponies so that they may socialize and teach her horse manners. But I can only see problems! Their newest horse was kicked and has huge bites and scars from their other horse/ponies. I watch the ponies kick and bite at the horses every day, even though they have lived together for months. Please, someone, explain to me why my filly should be 'socialized' by these horses? My filly has no role model. Their mare is not a nice horse. I'm also afraid my filly will pick up on all the 'bad' behavior. Everyone says the horses will 'work it out' but I am afraid she will either be injured or ruined.
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Hi imagoddessleo,
Yours seem to be a quite difficult situation.
I fully agree, that these rescuehorses, that are not being educated, would be a too big challenge for your filly. Still she should have equine companions to help her develope a healthy position in life. Some things horses know by instinct, others they have to learn through the herd they're part of. Your filly has a goat for companionship, which is better than nothing, but I suggest you try to find some other weanling, maybe even more, so they can form a small herd for themselves. Often people are looking for a place to let their weanlings grow up, away from the dam.
Of course these weanlings would have to be attended and educated as well, so this means more work for you, but also more fun! Being handled everyday, doing some simple groundwork, picking up feet, learning to lead, even load, are all small exercises that can be done at a young age. Keep the lessons short and interesting for them.
Keep us posted!
Miriam
I might add, to be fair to the in-laws, they have changed the door knobs on the house so the horses can no longer break in.
Also, my filly has, in the past, had 'playdates' with the new gelding on my property. They have done well together. He is the horse who gets beat up by the others when cornered.
Today, I gave in to pressure and released my horse within the herd. They ran (playing??) for quite a while. My filly was out in front all the time. I watched a lot of licking and chewing on my filly's part when they finally stopped running. She came over to rest by me. Off they went running again. Then when my filly became cornered by my gate (I couldn't get to her in time), the big mare squealed and took her down once, kicked her while she was down, kicked her down again, and then she managed to escape. Of course I was angry and worried she was hurt. I checked her over and she appeared fine and didn't completely retreat from the mare, however, she did come much closer to me, while licking at the gelding's face, who was standing nearby. She then went back to her yard and ate behind a tree, where she felt safe. All the horses left after that and went to the other side of the property.
I've heard that a mare won't take on another's baby. Is she going to be a continuous problem resulting in supervised socialization? Is the mare putting my filly in her place or is the mare just a real b*%?
I never fail to be amazed that people who can't manage their own animals (your in laws) are the first to insist that they know what is best for everyone else's animals!
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You must take your filly away from that mare before she gets seriously hurt. You cannot turn a young horse just loose into a field of adult horses - it is unfair and unsafe.
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Is there any reason why the filly and goat can't stay on your land and their gelding come over to you? That would seem to suit everyone; the gelding is being knocked about anyway so is better away from the in-laws; your filly gets on with him and your goat makes three which is better than a pair. When that trio is well established, review from there.
Oh btw, don't be too hard on the other mare, there are clearly complex issues going on over there and she is coping in the only way she knows how.
Hi. Your inlaws clearly love horses but lack basic understanding. There is no herd leadership, no leadership at all & so a riot ensues. This is when horses have no structure. Throw random equines togethe, especially when they come from bad backgrounds & the results are usually not great. Put your vulnerable little one in this mix & expect the worst. Leave your little one with a goat & expect not much better. Babies need support from their own kind, educated. The gelding sounds your best bet. Unless, you an find an old brood mare who will adopt this baby & not nurse her but give her confidence that life is not something to be fearful of but a challenge to be met head on. Perhaps you could loan one, or rescue, if you have space/resources. Cheers, Jo.
Yes, the gelding can certainly come over in the daytime and then go home to be fed at night. The mare might get mad though because he (gelding) is the only other horse (the other two are a pony and mini-horse). But everyone can still visit between the fences. I just wanted to hear advice from all you experienced horse people, as I am quite green and have never raised a baby (horse). BTW, my filly is just a week shy of six months old. I'm trying really hard not to make too many mistakes!
Today the mare backed the gelding into an in-escapable corner and proceeded to kick him relentlessly. That is the fate awaiting my filly. Everyone is still stressing the importance of herd socialization. I'm still wondering who's going to pay the vet bills.
Brood mare is a possibility. I sent out a request to the local horse rescue.
Ok, lets back track a bit....I need to ask a few questions if you don't mind (1) you had the little one at 3 months old, what happened to it's Mum. (2) Have you handled her a lot/bottle fed her? (3) Earlier, the playdates were going well, what changed? Thanks
Oh dopey me I've misread the above, the mare kicked the gelding...ok ignore my question 3 so sorry!! Different question (3) Why does the gelding have to go back at night for his tea, why can't he stay with you?
Btw, a pony and a mini horse are horses as far as other horses are concerned.
Twice I have had to rehab my horses because of a head pasture mare corning my horse and kicking them till there was no will left in my horse. Both times it was because a Dominate Humane persuaded the property owner that their mare was an angel. All I can say is don't put your Filly in with that mare again. Don't let anyone Bully you into putting your horse at risk like that. Would you like to be treated like that mare treated your filly?
Hi. I have a question. Your in-laws, do they rescue equines for garden ornaments or do they have a plan? Horses in the wild have to work hard to survive. It's a full time job & keeps them fully occupied. When horses are no longer wild & their needs are met, they have all that unused capacity. Like people, each one is an individual & whilst some will happily take to the easy life it causes others to have boredom problems. The big mare is doing her best to organise the herd but she lacks the skills & is overly aggressive. This is a dangerous trait, to the horses & possibly to humans too. You have handled your little one regularly & built up a bond. Has the big mare had this too? If she has had problems with humans she would change her attitude if someone took the time & effort to help her shed demons. Study the Uni lessons - you get accreditations for each one when you take Monty's Challenge. Also, his book "From My hands To Yours" is really helpful. Keep on posting on the forum. Both successes & problems - we're here to support you. Cheers, Jo.
They are garden ornaments right now. I think the mare has been worked once or twice since she's been here. They're basically eating (and pooping!) machines right now.
Let me ask you this...will my filly learn enough from the gelding if I don't locate a suitable broodmare? 'A' horse is better than no horse, right? He may not 'mother' her, but at least she'll learn something from him, right?
And then there's the kicking issue...My filly came to us so young, we can put our hands all over her with no problem. If she's getting kicked, will she learn that might be a solution to a problem or is that inherent in the defense mechanism of any horse. I mean I know she CAN kick but will she learn to do so from this negative experience?
Yes she will learn from the gelding. All horses use kick as a defence mechanism but only when absolutely necessary. If there is no threat there is no need to kick but even the best trained best behaved horse in the world will use a kick to defend itself if it has to.
Hi again. Let me tell you what I witnessed when Bella, aged 6 months & recently separated from her Mum, arrived & met my gelding, Apollo, in 2001. Once she had settled in I tried them together in a paddock. She ran over to him, mouthing to show she was a baby. He laid his ears back & threatened to bite her so she spun round & came over to the fence, looking really upset. Apollo was the most gentle horse, then aged 35. I thought it so sad that he didn't like her. Then I saw something amazing. Apollo walked over to Bella & gently rubbed his nose on her neck. It was such a touching thing to witness. Being elderly Apollo was loosing his sight but for his last 3 years he had a 'seeing eye filly'! Bella used to take him on a tour round all the fencing every time they were turned out somewhere new, so he could avoid running into them. The one time I turned him out without her he went straight through the fencing at high speed. Thankfully he suffered no damage but a brand new 3 inch post sheared off at ground level . His rug needed repair & that's what saved him. Sadly we lost Bella 2 months ago but I have a yearling colt & 8 month filly from her so she is still very much influential in my life - as is Apollo who was the one who showed me violence is never the answer. Cheers, Jo.
Beautiful story Jo. Tears in my eyes. And I certainly appreciate all your advice. The gelding came over yesterday for a playdate. I witnessed the mouthing. 'Diego' is a big gentle boy, and as such, is probably the best example for her.