My boy is 18 years old and I've had him 8 months, but I've known him since he was 14, anyway we got him off a lady who starved him during the two years shes had him, since then he is awful! He bucks when cantering, he cant be led without a chiffney or chain round his nose, he tanks off, he jumps stable doors ( what we put down to clostraphobia) he got moved to a new yard yesterday because i cant handle him alone (im 16) and he's already smashed a stable door down, and is clinging to another pony that he physically cant cope without being near, even taking him meters away around a corner he spins and tanks off! I want advice on what to do with him, how can I establish respect and get a understanding between us, hes bargy in the stable and has even dragged me out multiple times, he goes back when asked but then instantly tanks forward, he's even tried jumping the door with me in the way, he rears in the stable too! I'm really not wanting to get rid of him, because the years when I used to see him he was lovely little sweetie that even a 8 year old novice could handle, now he wont even tie up without rearing, I'm just wanting advice on what to do, do i try calmers? How do i handle the separation anxiety? The pony cant be with him all the time as hes kept at a riding school and the pony is a lessons pony, I've tried different places having him live out on his own but he's a nightmare, runs through fences, paces, very stressed, is awful to ride! I just need help, I'd love for monty to come out to the UK but reality is he's not able to hes busy man, and very much wanted everywhere, Busta is my first pony and hes a cob, lots of people say respect hes a cob and that he draggs but ive seen many peoples horses have manners! He even rears with the farrier!! Help me please!!
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Actually you already have the best advice above from Jo!
I'm confident that one of the IH Recommended Associates is near where you live, and able to help you with Busta!
But right now you won't be able to find acute help with Busta, so for the holidays you're on your own. He has known you before he had the horrifying experience, but his trust is deeply broken, even his trust in you, although you never caused him any harm.
You say he's very hard to handle and barges right through you if need be.
I'm only guessing, but you probably feel distressed by his behavior. This is a sign to him, that he needs to take charge of the situation, since you don't.
What I'd like to suggest for the moment is to just sit with him, maybe even outside his paddock. Let him learn that your presence is absolutely without stress for him. You might even bring a book ( no smart phone or other electrical device, since they send out a tension we don't notice, but horses do ), sit near him and breathe deep. Let your heart rate become very low and relaxed. He'll notice the difference....
Consider him a wild and untouched horse, actually his instincts have kicked in through the poor experience he had. How would you approach a wild animal? Let him become interested in your calm demeanor, he's likely to come to you if you're patient enough.
Now you might come to the next stage, but there's no need to hurry the procedure!
Keep your heartrate low.
Everytime he looks at you, look away. Every time he ignores you, look at him.
Acknowledge hisevery try to establish a new type of contact.
Leave all you expectations at home, just be with him, like a herd member would.
Don't handle him, let him find the quality of your friendship.
Let us know how you're doing! And please stay safe!!!
Happy holidays,
Miriam
I have received the BEST advice from this Uni.
I’m only at a walking stage with my boy Shilo, it has taken me a long time to get to this stage, and a long time to gain the trust and I guess respect from Shilo, this journey we are on is just the biggest rush, because when you receive knowledge from Monty’s videos and execute the methods properly, coupled with the outstanding advice here in this forum, and something, even a small thing, goes as it should, well, the happiness that it gives is just indescribable, and you know that you are one step closer to your horse, to his mind.
First, I would give yourself a big pat on the back for searching and finding this forum.
Second, I would follow the advice of the others.
And lastly, prepare yourself for a journey that at times is rough, but will reward you in ways you never imagined.
All the best.
Dionne.
I am going to jump right to the matter at hand , as I see it..
You have a horse that you rescued that has taken on a self-preservation mentality when it come to the humans that dare to enter into his world.
#1 that you need to do is level the playing field so that your efforts and FEELINGS for him can be communicated by you to him WITHOUT THE ELEMENT OF DANGER TO EITHER YOU . HE IS BASICALLY ACTING LIKE A WILD HORSE. If you have watched any of Monty`s wild-horse gentling episodes, you will notice HOW AND WHERE they are kept while he incrementally soothes that part of them that wants to EXPLODE AND RUN AWAY. [He has safety pens so he might be able to be with them without the threat of physical harm to himself or any of the young training staff] My suggestion to you is to spend time with him with you on one side of the safety fence and him on the other practicing an inner-dialogue that DEMONSTRATES TO HIM that you would very much like to be his friend and care-giver. This needs to be a many-times-a-day occurrence to build consistency for him and YOU to connect mentally. It is the very first step to rebuilding the trust that YOU KNOW is in there. but is BLOCKED AT THE MOMENT by a FLOOD of negative emotions. These emotions are very strong within, and he does NOT FEEL SAFE AT THE MOMENT when with you. You are running into triggers with your actions that cause him to act out and flee the scene. When he sees you he knows you are NOT THE LEADER THAT HE NEEDS AT THE MOMENT BECAUSE HE DOESN`T FEEL SAFE. So consequently no respect is offered. This all needs change, If you are going to develop a relationship with this horse. . You can do this WITHOUT coercion with just an internal dialogue ;a give and take conversation between you two. With this approach, he will then become a different individual for you. You need to ask questions of him as to how he is feeling at the moment, while keeping your mind open to whatever his reply might be. This is a need that all horses have, but is so infrequently address by the human counter-part. When the playing field is leveled or tipped in your favor. your leadership skills will grow expotentially because FEAR ON YOUR PART IS ELIMINATED FROM WHAT YOU ARE OFFERING.
This is because of the separating barrier between you two. This is NOT going to happen over night, after all, you state that you have had him for 8 months, and you are NOW at this point. If you can make an effort to concentrate your thoughts on HIM, without the fear
that you are going to get trampled, he will look at you differently and trust will be the result. That would be a GREAT PLACE TO START WITH BUSTA. When relationships blossom, bad behavior exits the stage of thought.
The next step in your evolution to promote a workable relationship with this horse will probably involve a professional to assist you in the right direction, but the development of TRUST on both HORSE AND CARE-TAKER will be the number one item to accomplish right now.
Good luck and let us know how you coming along.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL
Bud
So happy to see you're connecting with Busta!
Just let me say something that could up your relationship:
- the situation you describe in the washbox asks for PICNIC
(Positive Instant Consequences and Negative Instant Consequences).
This meaning that your "smack on his chest" was Instant, but not educational....
Did you have a Dually Halter on him? If you need to correct undesired behavior with the Dually, your horse can learn from it by coming off the pressure. A smack on the chest is just that, it might even stimulate the undesired behavior!
What we're all learning here is a violence-free way of training horses, beginning with training ourselves to step away from violence and impatience. You'll feel much more secure when you correct your horse in a non-violent way, he'll sense it's not violence but the correction of this specific behavior. It's not his being you reject, it's this specific behavior you correct!
I hope this helps you on your journey with Busta.
Please keep us posted,
Miriam